19 Nov

A conversation I had this week:

I can’t do it anymore.

What can’t you do?

I’m just sick of it.

Sick of what?

You know. Life.

You say it smiling.

Yes I do. Because if I say it like I mean it, that would be so sad. Maybe even unbearable.

This proves it. I’m way too good at hiding my real feelings. Even when I say I just want to hide in a corner and wait till the worst has passed, people think I’m joking.
Which I’m not. The idea of just hiding and reading books and watching movies, with comfort food and fleece blankets all around me, sounds like heaven right now. Somebody know a good hiding place with a view?



2 Responses to “Smile”

  1. MatthV November 21, 2010 at 3:01 pm #

    I know exactly how you feel! Sometimes I have the same feeling as you, being sick of life, feeling beaten. But when I tell my closest friends, I always sound happier than I am..They never understand how I suffer. Likewise, when I’m not at home, I’m always the happy, cheerful, enthusiastic guy with a huge smile on my face. But that’s not always how I really feel, it’s just a mask to conceal my real feelings. Sometimes, I too built a fortress of comfort food and books, movies to protect me from the outside world. And yeah, that helps but I know it’s not the answer. It’s just me, fleeing..

    What really helps me when I’m feeling down and want to hide in my fortress, is talking with friends (not about problems, just chit chat) or exercising, sports. Those two things makes me feel better and lift the heavy weight of my shoulders (or I’m lifting weights when I’m exercising :p). But it’s not always easy following my own advice, I can be really difficult to ignore the pleading calls of my fortress of comfort and venture into the ‘unknown’..

    Ow I almost forgot, music off course!! Music can do wonders when you feel unhappy πŸ™‚
    I’ve recently discovered a great, cheerful song which really resonated with me. It’s like somebody stole the lyrics from my head :p
    Give it a try:

    From what I read on your blog, you seem to be on the right pad. Just keep doing what you’re doing and you will get there! Keep setting goals, keep blogging about them πŸ™‚
    Life is not one, straight line. Life has ups and downs. And it’s the downs, the dark times, that define us as a person, that make us stronger! That’s a lesson I learned this past year. So don’t give up on life, anything is still possible at our age! πŸ˜€

    And I get the impression, don’t shoot me if i’m wrong, that you’re missing an intimate friendship. Somebody you could trust and be 100 % open with and who would understand you perfectly. A boyfriend in other words.. It feels like a big hole in your life. I get it, believe me I do.. But don’t despair, just keep living your life to the fullest, keep having wonderfull adventures and when the time is right, Prince Charming will arrive on his white motorcycle (A horse would be kind off strange these days, don’t you think?)! If i’m wrong, just ignore this part πŸ˜‰

    If you ever feel down again and in need of some chit chat or want to talk about anything serious.., just add me on msn or shoot me an email. Helping people makes me feel good, so it’s a win-win πŸ™‚

    Take care! πŸ™‚

    • restmymind November 23, 2010 at 9:46 pm #

      when I read your comment I felt better within a second… Thanks for being so honest and nice even though you don’t know me!
      And you’re right: music never lets you down when you need comfort (the song you shared has been in my head for two days now, and with this song that’s a good thing!)

      And about the boyfriend: I’ll be patient πŸ˜‰
      but I’d love it if he would arrive on a red vespa (Italy is the best!), which is definitely more likely to happen than him being on a white horse…
      I’ll keep you posted!

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