Dark

4 Dec

I’m in a dark place. But I convinced myself a while ago that dark places have a bright side.
Because how would we recognise the happy places if we’d never seen a dark one?

Every down has its up, every big has its small,
every good has its bad, every winter has its summer,
every night has its day.
And that’s what makes things interesting.
You enjoy travelling more when you’ve worked your ass off during the year, you enjoy a party more when you’ve had a crappy day. You rise higher if you’ve been really low.
I wouldn’t want a flat-line-life, where every day is average. I accept the really bad days, so that when the really good ones come, I’ll be ready to enjoy them.

(Goal achieved… remember this ?
I wonder how long I’ll be keeping this feeling. We’ll see!)

I guess this means I need a new goal. Being honest with the people I love would be a good one. I don’t know how I did it (again) but somehow everybody thinks I’m fine. I managed to support everybody around me because they needed it, without mentioning that I could use some help too… and when I came home, my dad was angry that I wasn’t all smiling and joy. Instead of asking what was wrong, he just sighed very loud, looked as if I was the biggest disappointment in his life and walked away. And now I’m too angry even to be angry at him. So I shut up and work.

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One Response to “Dark”

  1. Tom December 4, 2010 at 12:17 pm #

    Hi,

    I arrived on your blog by accident, but was touched by the things you think. Just wanted to say, that you’re not alone. I’m quite ‘different’ myself, and sometimes I can hate myself for that, but acceptance is the only way, I’m afraid.

    Take care,

    T.

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