Growing up

8 Jan

I think I’m growing up. It’s scary and reassuring at the same time.

Somehow, I feel secure, I know who I am and what I can do.
I know I’m intelligent, I walk like I’m someone. I look like I have a life.

But it’s scary as hell too. I used to think I wanted to stay young forever, travel the world, learn, have no responsibilities at all. I used to want to feel free.
And part of me still does, but another part accepted that I’ll have to work, to settle, to be real.

And I’m scared to loose all of my love for freedom. That I’m gonna settle for second-best. That I’ll stop dreaming. That I’m not good enough for my own dreams. That I’ll never find my own life. That I missed opportunities. That I’m not who and where I want to be.

I think I’ll always be thinking too much, and maybe not doing enough.

But I have my whole future to keep improving, don’t I?


2 Responses to “Growing up”

  1. MatthV January 8, 2012 at 9:16 pm #

    Hmm, I was thinking about the same thing last week. Coincidence? :p
    I came to the conclusion I want to explore and discover as much as I can while I’m still young. So I’m probably no settling before I’m 30. 🙂
    With the advances in science & medicine, our generation is going to live a loooong time.
    So I intend to milk every last drop of my youth out of it!

    • restmymind January 9, 2012 at 1:55 pm #

      ok, you have a point, milking every drop sounds good… but are you sure that you want to stop that when you’re 30? let’s just never settle for real, ok? (having the house-tree-thing, doesn’t mean being there all the time, does it? and yes, I didn’t want to mention wife-child-thing, cause that’s reaaally scary)

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