Tag Archives: dream

Whole

4 Jun

It’s hot. And so is going to be the summer. It’s going to be full of passion, if not for someone, then for life in general.
I feel it in every bone. I hear it in the guitar music. I taste it in the sangria.

I work like I’ve never worked before. Still, I don’t really know what for.
I dream like never before. I feel like never before. All by myself, I did it. I found a way to be just who I am.
Even without knowing where I’m going, and confused about where I came from. I am exactly in the place I want to be. Sometimes, I have a small moment in which the world doesn’t make sence anymore, but when I blink, the moment fades and my world becomes clear again.
There is today, and tomorrow. The future will come anyway, I don’t have to worry about that. The past is in the past.

I’m going to be fine. I’m whole again.

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The forbidden fruit

14 Apr

Why do I always fall for the wrong thing?

Why do I fall in love with the older guy that doesn’t notice me? Why do I want to be something that I’ll never be good enough? Why do I like the people that I shouldn’t like? Why do I want to live anywhere but here?

What makes the unreachable so tempting? Why is it that what you have or can have is never enough? Why is it that I want to dream so big that I forget what I already have? How come that I want to reach goals so high that I end up with nothing?

It’s exciting to think big. To imagine a life in a world better than the one you have. To daydream about people you will hardly ever know. Because the grass is always greener on the other side. Because it’s hard to accept that you are just who you are. Because everyone want’s to reach the sky. And maybe the sky is not even the limit.
Dreaming keeps me going.

 

Passion

14 Apr

I like passion. In people. For people. But as much for things. A hobby, a country, a book, a band.

You need passion in your life to really live. To be great. To wake up in the morning. To have that sparkle in your eyes.

All great people had a kind of unstoppable faith in what they did. Without that passion, they could have been good, but not great. From Mozart to Einstein to Mandela… they stood up for something and it made them unforgettable.

Not that you have to be famous to be great. Someone with passion for something small can be really special.
Someone can lift up the people around him, just by talking convincingly or intellectually, playing an instrument (whatever the musical genre), spreading energy and warmth, …

The trick is to find what you’re really passionate about. Food, but that’s not enough. Reading. Music. Writing. Travelling. But what’s that one thing that I want more than all the rest? I don’t really know anymore. I’m kind of lost. I want to combine all my dreams into one and go for it. But how to do that?

The mystery revealed… kind of

6 Mar

 

Okay, so the dream was to get away… to have an adventure, an experience never to forget.
And it’s about to happen 🙂

I’ve been wanting this for years now… to live abroad and be in a completely new environment, with my own place, my own friends, another language, other food, just free and independent.

This summer, I’m leaving for eastern europe. And next year I’m going to the south. Isn’t that great? I’ll have to step out of my comfort zone. But I’m not afraid. On the contrary, I wish I could leave right now. But I’ll have to dream a little longer, spring will be in Belgium.

I think I can’t even express how excited I am. I feel like I’m not even completely here anymore (my heart seems to be somewhere on the road). More to come on preparations, excitement and flashforwards. At least being accepted is one huge goal achieved.

Relevance

26 Feb

It’s going fast now. A lot of work and self-promotion lies ahead of me, but in two days I’ll know more…

That means that this is not (and I repeat to myself: not!) the time to question the relevance of things. My future profession for example. Getting good grades, to name something else. My own ability to be what I want to be. My way of life.
Stop asking difficult questions, just get on with it, right?
But I always want to be sure that what I do (and will be doing in the future, hopefully!) is meaningful.
And the problem is that I’m really good at saying everything is relative (Einstein knew that too… so I guess there’s some truth in it.)
I feel so irrelevant sometimes. There are so many of us, people. But maybe that’s a good thing. It takes away the pressure. Nobody is important, we’re all the same. All we can do is live a good life.
But how? I still don’t know. I know I never will.
Accepting that I might be a little irrelevant is hard. But it should make things easier. You can’t screw up the world when you’re that small.  And you’re not totally irrelevant. Everybody means something. To others, and mostly to yourself.

Write

21 Feb

I had the feeling I wanted to write something. I  just didn’t know what exactly to write about.

There’s stuff going on. Good stuff.
But it’s all not official yet. I can’t announce things yet, before I’ll know for sure they’re gonna happen for real. All I can say, is that it’s finally there. The moment of dreams coming true. But also the moment of doubt. Is it really what I want? Or is it just a dream by habbit, and not from my heart? Some things feel like certainties. Some just sound good. Some keep worrying me. But things will turn out to be more than just okay, I feel it. All I need now is a little more ambition, and a little less self-doubt.

Going for it, definitely. Getting there, I hope. I’ll find out soon enough. And then, so will you!

Libraries

31 Jan

I had forgotten how much I love libraries.

Today I went to get a travel guide, but I couldn’t resist to take four other books with me.
The titels. The covers. The names of famous authors. It felt like heaven.

When I was little, I lived in a village with one cute, small library. They had a small childrens section. I think I must have read almost every book in there. Luckily for me, we moved when I was getting to the last books left, and in the new village they had a really big library with a much bigger collection. And now I’m living in a city with a lot of libraries. Some of them with old wooden floors and almost no space to move. Others with big windows and four floors of stories to discover. But sadly, the more books become available, the less time I have. And so the ‘to read’ list gets longer and longer, and time flies by without books being read.

It gave me hope too. If there are that many young people reading books, the world can’t be that bad. If they read about wonderfull worlds, described in beautiful words, how can they become angry, capitalistic, racists or anything bad at all? Books are great things. You don’t have to travel to meet interesting people with lives that you can somehow relate to. You don’t have to experience anything to learn about life. You don’t have to go outside to explore the world. All you have to do is make some hot chocolate and find a comfortable seat. Relax, open the book, and start reading. Heaven on earth.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the time right now to dream away. But just to walk around all those books for five minutes made me happy. (Maybe the cute guy looking for an interesting story next to me had something to do with it too…)

This summer, I promised myself that I would always have a book on my bedside. And I have. I have this small poetry book that I read in whenever I need it. And I have had some books there too. But to be honest, the last one has just been lying there untill I give it back to the friend I borrowed it from.
On the plane however, I’ll make time to dream and get to know some new people. Fictional people. Sometimes the best ones.

And for now, there’s a goal to be set. More books in my life, more time spent in libraries, more concerts to go to and more movies to see. I’ll start this evening. But now, there’s a language to be learnt. Culture, never enough culture.