Tag Archives: hope

Two down, one to go…

24 Mar

Okay, stress marathon this week… two presentations and an exam

so far, so good,
two down and one to go

And the sun keeps shining, what could possibly go wrong?

I hope the last exam, tomorrow, will go well too… my freedom depends on it!

(More will follow!)



26 Feb

It’s going fast now. A lot of work and self-promotion lies ahead of me, but in two days I’ll know more…

That means that this is not (and I repeat to myself: not!) the time to question the relevance of things. My future profession for example. Getting good grades, to name something else. My own ability to be what I want to be. My way of life.
Stop asking difficult questions, just get on with it, right?
But I always want to be sure that what I do (and will be doing in the future, hopefully!) is meaningful.
And the problem is that I’m really good at saying everything is relative (Einstein knew that too… so I guess there’s some truth in it.)
I feel so irrelevant sometimes. There are so many of us, people. But maybe that’s a good thing. It takes away the pressure. Nobody is important, we’re all the same. All we can do is live a good life.
But how? I still don’t know. I know I never will.
Accepting that I might be a little irrelevant is hard. But it should make things easier. You can’t screw up the world when you’re that small.  And you’re not totally irrelevant. Everybody means something. To others, and mostly to yourself.


31 Jan

I had forgotten how much I love libraries.

Today I went to get a travel guide, but I couldn’t resist to take four other books with me.
The titels. The covers. The names of famous authors. It felt like heaven.

When I was little, I lived in a village with one cute, small library. They had a small childrens section. I think I must have read almost every book in there. Luckily for me, we moved when I was getting to the last books left, and in the new village they had a really big library with a much bigger collection. And now I’m living in a city with a lot of libraries. Some of them with old wooden floors and almost no space to move. Others with big windows and four floors of stories to discover. But sadly, the more books become available, the less time I have. And so the ‘to read’ list gets longer and longer, and time flies by without books being read.

It gave me hope too. If there are that many young people reading books, the world can’t be that bad. If they read about wonderfull worlds, described in beautiful words, how can they become angry, capitalistic, racists or anything bad at all? Books are great things. You don’t have to travel to meet interesting people with lives that you can somehow relate to. You don’t have to experience anything to learn about life. You don’t have to go outside to explore the world. All you have to do is make some hot chocolate and find a comfortable seat. Relax, open the book, and start reading. Heaven on earth.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the time right now to dream away. But just to walk around all those books for five minutes made me happy. (Maybe the cute guy looking for an interesting story next to me had something to do with it too…)

This summer, I promised myself that I would always have a book on my bedside. And I have. I have this small poetry book that I read in whenever I need it. And I have had some books there too. But to be honest, the last one has just been lying there untill I give it back to the friend I borrowed it from.
On the plane however, I’ll make time to dream and get to know some new people. Fictional people. Sometimes the best ones.

And for now, there’s a goal to be set. More books in my life, more time spent in libraries, more concerts to go to and more movies to see. I’ll start this evening. But now, there’s a language to be learnt. Culture, never enough culture.

At the end of the tunnel

26 Dec

I’s good to be at the end of the tunnel. There’s christmas lights and snow. Friends and family. There’s music and presents. There’s food, lots of food that I need to regain my strength.

But it seems as if there’s another tunnel coming up. One without a clear light at the end. One with work and stupid conversations. One with sadness and tears. I hope I’ll find another way to get to the other side of the mountains. The high road maybe. With spectacular views along the way that award me for the climbing that I have to do to get there.

Today, however, all of that will wait. It’s my day today. I have more eating and partying to do. And more sleeping, definitely. I have friends to mail to and bottles of wine to open. I have some thinking to do and some planning. And I believe that I will get there.

Christmas brings hope and dreams and family and friends. What more do you need? Merry Christmas is all I’ve left to say.